Leadership

Let’s Turn Anger Management into Happiness Management

This past week, I was fortunate enough to attend Fred Pryor/CareerTrack’s “Managing Emotions Under Pressure,” or as my mom called it “Anger Management.”

If you ever have a chance to attend it I recommend it.  I had a few “ah ha” moments.  And many of them had a little side of “duh” to go with it.

Here are some tidbits of the seminar that really hit home:

-If your inner voice was a real person, would you hang out with them? Or does it call you names, act all judgemental towards people, and is an uncontrollable smartass? Yeah, me neither.  So, why would anyone allow negative self-talk to themselves if they had a choice to change the conversation?

-Most arguments between co-workers and loved ones are about differences in views or process.  If both perspectives can be right, and neither are technically wrong, then don’t get all exhausted by trying to prove yourself right and them wrong.  You can be right or you can be happy.  Or as my dad reminded me a few weeks ago “if you can be only smart or only pleasant, choose pleasant.”  And if you haven’t seen Harvey with Jimmy Stewart, I recommend doing so.

-For people who have the desire to constructively criticize, the worst way to do so is by saying “well I would have done it this way.” Use this: “I liked how you did ab and c.  Next time, you should try xy and z.”

-There are different groups of people clumped together who have similar personality styles.  All groups have different strengths, weaknesses, irritations, and how they handle stress.  You have to understand the type of personality a person has so that when they are withdrawn, submissive, dictatorial, or sarcastic, they’re doing it because they’re stressed.  It’s not about you.  Or in another words: QTIP – Quit Taking It Personal.

-The saying is no longer “treat others how you want to be treated.”  In addition to understanding people’s irritations and how they act when they’re stressed, you have to know how the different personality types want to be treated.  Some people want you to be precise or concise with them, others want you to just be pleasant, and others want you to be stimulating.  They’ll each appreciate you more when you walk into their office or cubicle and adjust your conversation to how they’ll be readily able to absorb it the most.

-Every time you say yes to something, you’re saying no to something else.  Are your yes’s and no’s in alignment?

-The experience of life can change just by changing your perception of it.  Change your words, you change your whole world.

Here’s to happiness!

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